Crafty Kitty

So I’ve been reading this book, called The Myth of You and Me, about a girl who was contacted by her long lost best friend from her middle school and high school years, after leaving her stranded at a gas station seven years prior.  It is a totally addictive read and I’ve had a hard time putting it down.  I will finish it tonight and that means I read it in 3 nights - which is actually quite awesome for me lately.  When I was a kid and lived in a neighborhood with no girls my own age (and since the boys that were my age were friends with my brother, it would be uncool for me tag along) I used to hole up in the house and just read book after book after book.  I would read a book a day and was always begging my Mom to take me to the library.  The bookmobile would come to our street way out in the country but their selection wasn’t the best and I just loved getting lost in the library and finding new, interesting books to read.  Now I’m lucky if I can read a book in a month.  It’s funny that something I valued so much as a child has become so much of an afterthought in my adult life.

Anyhow, back to the point – this book has gotten me thinking about all the “best” friends I have had throughout my life.  How they came to be and what made them my best friend.  I seem to remember writing an essay similar to this when I was a junior in high school for Mr. Pollack’s, who I thought was so dreamy at the time, English class.  I’ve always had a thing for intelligent men.  And I started it way back at the beginning so that is where I will begin it here.

When I lived in Milwaukee my best friend was Amy S.  We were in the same classes in elementary school and our parents were friendly enough.  When I moved to Oshkosh we kept in contact.  Shortly after I moved to Oshkosh, she moved to Muskego which was quite convenient as my Aunt also lived in Muskego.  So usually once a year, we would drop by her house after visiting with my Aunt or they would come up to our house since we lived on a lake.  We kept in contact through letters and then later through e-mail until one 4^th of July.  My Aunt always had a big 4^th of July party at her house because she had a sweet in-ground pool.  I would normally bring a friend from Oshkosh down with me, but that particular year I invited Amy.  However, when we got down there I was waiting and waiting for her to show up.  Finally, my Aunt convinced me to try and call her and see what the holdup was and when I did call her house, her Mom answered and told me that she had decided to go practice driving (we were around 15 at this time) with her Uncle instead of hanging out with me whom she hadn’t seen in 2 years.  And whom she neglected to call to notify of her change in plans.  That was the final straw for me and I just stopped writing her letters and e-mails and she never wrote me so that was that. 

Sometimes I wonder what happened to her and actually shortly after I moved here when I was bored one day at work I was looking up people that I thought might have gone to UW-Madison – people I went to high school with, people I thought might want to hang out with me since I hadn’t really made any friends yet.  And on a whim I looked up her name and discovered she went to school here, and that her younger sister did too.  Now when I go to the bars, I sometimes think to look for her even though I know the chances are slim of me seeing her in a city this size, plus I’m not even sure I would recognize her anymore – it’s been more than a decade since I’ve seen her.  I don’t even think we would have anything in common anymore.  Her family had more money than ours did, and as she grew up she became more spoiled and preppy whereas I became more geeky and reserved.

When I moved to Oshkosh, I had an ever changing group of best friends throughout elementary and middle school.  Some I still talked to in high school, some I just never talked to again.  There was Melissa T., who was different from me in the fact that her parents were divorced and at the time she was only one of a few kids I knew whose parents were divorced (I was pretty oblivious as a kid).  We were both in dance and we had a modeling club (don’t ask me).  What is it with kids and clubs? 

In 5^th grade I became really good friends with Jessica A.  She moved to Green Bay after 6^th grade and this other bitch that was friends with her didn’t invite me to her going away party.  Yet I was one of the only people who kept in contact with her after she moved.  Actually, we IMd all the time during high school and she came to my 16^th birthday party in Oshkosh, and I went to her graduation party in Green Bay.  I know she went to UW Eau Claire her freshman year for college because we would still occasionally e-mail/chat but we just lost touch somehow.  It makes me kind of sad because she was an awesome person.

My next best friend was Kim C.  I think we became friends because we were both just kind of dorky music kids who liked the same things.  We would ride bikes and go camping.  We watched Grease together for the first time and she introduced me to gas station cappuccinos.  In 8^th grade we both feel in love with The Beatles after watching The Beatles Anthology on TV.  We never had a fight that stopped us from being best friends – we just sort of drifted apart when we got to high school due to not having a lot of classes together and having other interests.  We continued to see each other at parties and we were always quite friendly.  The last time I saw her was when I went to see the String Cheese Incident at Apple River in the summer of 2001 with her and Deanna.  By this time she was going to college in Iowa and had sort of become self absorbed as a lot of people do when they leave and discover a life outside the town they’ve grown up in – especially when your college is the kind of college that has annual naked soccer games.  Last I heard she’s living in Minneapolis and working for Target Corp so good for her.

My two best friends in high school were Rachel G and Meghan, but never at the same time.  Rachel and I could be best friends, or Meghan and I could be best friends, or Rachel and Meghan could be best friends but we could never ALL be best friends.  This caused lots of drama that now, looking back, I realize was totally stupid and fucked up.  But we were all emotionally immature and young and that’s just the kind of thing that happens.  Rachel was quiet and reserved and I can remember going over to her house in the summer and then going to play tennis at the park.  Meghan was loud and boisterous and a little crazy to be honest with you – crazy in the “I’m not balanced” kind of way.  She was everything I wasn’t and that was why I liked her, but also why our friendship didn’t last all that long.  To this day I still think she’s kind of a bitch for everything she ever did to me but at this point I just don’t care anymore.  I saw her a summer ago or two at the leaving the local brew pub in Oshkosh with the same boyfriend she’s had since her junior year of high school (the boy she knew I had a crush on the year prior and started dating to spite me – whatever, it must have worked out for them).  Anyways, I took some sort of sick satisfaction out of the fact that she must have gained 30 pounds since she graduated high school, while I had lost 15.

And now my on again off again she drives me crazy but I love her best friend is Deanna.  She has no motivation or goals in her life which is the one thing that drives me crazy but other than that she’s a good person.  We’ve had some crazy times and done some stupid shit together, but we’re there for each other and that’s all that counts.  Lately I’ve been questioning some of the things she’s been doing, and in the past I just would have cut off contact, but at this point in our lives, who am I to judge?  She’s got to learn from her own mistakes and eventually she will.  It may take a lot longer than it would for me, but she will learn.

And in writing this I have discovered that I never really felt like I ever fit in with any group per se during school, or after really.  I just sort of drifted from person to person and felt lost and unwanted most of the time.  I always felt like the new kid, even after I had lived in Oshkosh for 5 years.  Oshkosh is a really backward thinking town and I don’t think my family ever fit in there and sometimes I wonder why my parents still live there now (other than the fact that my mother has an awesome job).  That place always made me feel like there was something wrong with me and I am so immensely happy I moved away from there and that I have this great life in Madison with great people that I love to hang out with.  And a boy who is my best friend and understands me so deeply and even wants to be around me when I’m acting all emotional and irrational and who won’t validate my shitty behavior but who will just listen.