Crafty Kitty

Christmas was good to me this year!  Thanks to my parents (the swift) and the boy (the winder) I am able to have this current setup going on at my kitchen table:

The boy told me his gift of the ball winder was not an endorsement for me to buy more yarn.  My response is that I would have to see about that.

And because I was so excited to wind my Mountain Colors yarn into a perfect ball, it inspired me to finally start the Ella Shawl which I've been meaning to make since I first saw the pattern.  I had started it once before but wasn't really paying attention to the lace pattern and kept getting off in my counting,due to having a few beers while watching a football game, that I had to rip it all out.  It's moving along smoothly now.  The yarn is so nice to work with and I just love seeing the Ella pattern work it's way out of it that it's been very hard for me to put down.  But yay for a holiday weekend with not much do!  I'm looking forward to getting down with all the knitting and sewing I had been neglecting due to how busy I've been.

Tonight I also finished a wallet I sewed for my friend.  It's her Christmas present but I knew I didn't have to have it finished in time for Christmas because I'm not going to be able to see her until the end of January.  I'm glad to have it done though and I really like how it turned out.  I'll make a few simple modifications when I make another one like this but I was using some scraps of corduroy that I was going to use for another project so I had to work with what I had.  Check it:

So I’ve been reading this book, called The Myth of You and Me, about a girl who was contacted by her long lost best friend from her middle school and high school years, after leaving her stranded at a gas station seven years prior.  It is a totally addictive read and I’ve had a hard time putting it down.  I will finish it tonight and that means I read it in 3 nights - which is actually quite awesome for me lately.  When I was a kid and lived in a neighborhood with no girls my own age (and since the boys that were my age were friends with my brother, it would be uncool for me tag along) I used to hole up in the house and just read book after book after book.  I would read a book a day and was always begging my Mom to take me to the library.  The bookmobile would come to our street way out in the country but their selection wasn’t the best and I just loved getting lost in the library and finding new, interesting books to read.  Now I’m lucky if I can read a book in a month.  It’s funny that something I valued so much as a child has become so much of an afterthought in my adult life.

Anyhow, back to the point – this book has gotten me thinking about all the “best” friends I have had throughout my life.  How they came to be and what made them my best friend.  I seem to remember writing an essay similar to this when I was a junior in high school for Mr. Pollack’s, who I thought was so dreamy at the time, English class.  I’ve always had a thing for intelligent men.  And I started it way back at the beginning so that is where I will begin it here.

When I lived in Milwaukee my best friend was Amy S.  We were in the same classes in elementary school and our parents were friendly enough.  When I moved to Oshkosh we kept in contact.  Shortly after I moved to Oshkosh, she moved to Muskego which was quite convenient as my Aunt also lived in Muskego.  So usually once a year, we would drop by her house after visiting with my Aunt or they would come up to our house since we lived on a lake.  We kept in contact through letters and then later through e-mail until one 4^th of July.  My Aunt always had a big 4^th of July party at her house because she had a sweet in-ground pool.  I would normally bring a friend from Oshkosh down with me, but that particular year I invited Amy.  However, when we got down there I was waiting and waiting for her to show up.  Finally, my Aunt convinced me to try and call her and see what the holdup was and when I did call her house, her Mom answered and told me that she had decided to go practice driving (we were around 15 at this time) with her Uncle instead of hanging out with me whom she hadn’t seen in 2 years.  And whom she neglected to call to notify of her change in plans.  That was the final straw for me and I just stopped writing her letters and e-mails and she never wrote me so that was that. 

Sometimes I wonder what happened to her and actually shortly after I moved here when I was bored one day at work I was looking up people that I thought might have gone to UW-Madison – people I went to high school with, people I thought might want to hang out with me since I hadn’t really made any friends yet.  And on a whim I looked up her name and discovered she went to school here, and that her younger sister did too.  Now when I go to the bars, I sometimes think to look for her even though I know the chances are slim of me seeing her in a city this size, plus I’m not even sure I would recognize her anymore – it’s been more than a decade since I’ve seen her.  I don’t even think we would have anything in common anymore.  Her family had more money than ours did, and as she grew up she became more spoiled and preppy whereas I became more geeky and reserved.

When I moved to Oshkosh, I had an ever changing group of best friends throughout elementary and middle school.  Some I still talked to in high school, some I just never talked to again.  There was Melissa T., who was different from me in the fact that her parents were divorced and at the time she was only one of a few kids I knew whose parents were divorced (I was pretty oblivious as a kid).  We were both in dance and we had a modeling club (don’t ask me).  What is it with kids and clubs? 

In 5^th grade I became really good friends with Jessica A.  She moved to Green Bay after 6^th grade and this other bitch that was friends with her didn’t invite me to her going away party.  Yet I was one of the only people who kept in contact with her after she moved.  Actually, we IMd all the time during high school and she came to my 16^th birthday party in Oshkosh, and I went to her graduation party in Green Bay.  I know she went to UW Eau Claire her freshman year for college because we would still occasionally e-mail/chat but we just lost touch somehow.  It makes me kind of sad because she was an awesome person.

My next best friend was Kim C.  I think we became friends because we were both just kind of dorky music kids who liked the same things.  We would ride bikes and go camping.  We watched Grease together for the first time and she introduced me to gas station cappuccinos.  In 8^th grade we both feel in love with The Beatles after watching The Beatles Anthology on TV.  We never had a fight that stopped us from being best friends – we just sort of drifted apart when we got to high school due to not having a lot of classes together and having other interests.  We continued to see each other at parties and we were always quite friendly.  The last time I saw her was when I went to see the String Cheese Incident at Apple River in the summer of 2001 with her and Deanna.  By this time she was going to college in Iowa and had sort of become self absorbed as a lot of people do when they leave and discover a life outside the town they’ve grown up in – especially when your college is the kind of college that has annual naked soccer games.  Last I heard she’s living in Minneapolis and working for Target Corp so good for her.

My two best friends in high school were Rachel G and Meghan, but never at the same time.  Rachel and I could be best friends, or Meghan and I could be best friends, or Rachel and Meghan could be best friends but we could never ALL be best friends.  This caused lots of drama that now, looking back, I realize was totally stupid and fucked up.  But we were all emotionally immature and young and that’s just the kind of thing that happens.  Rachel was quiet and reserved and I can remember going over to her house in the summer and then going to play tennis at the park.  Meghan was loud and boisterous and a little crazy to be honest with you – crazy in the “I’m not balanced” kind of way.  She was everything I wasn’t and that was why I liked her, but also why our friendship didn’t last all that long.  To this day I still think she’s kind of a bitch for everything she ever did to me but at this point I just don’t care anymore.  I saw her a summer ago or two at the leaving the local brew pub in Oshkosh with the same boyfriend she’s had since her junior year of high school (the boy she knew I had a crush on the year prior and started dating to spite me – whatever, it must have worked out for them).  Anyways, I took some sort of sick satisfaction out of the fact that she must have gained 30 pounds since she graduated high school, while I had lost 15.

And now my on again off again she drives me crazy but I love her best friend is Deanna.  She has no motivation or goals in her life which is the one thing that drives me crazy but other than that she’s a good person.  We’ve had some crazy times and done some stupid shit together, but we’re there for each other and that’s all that counts.  Lately I’ve been questioning some of the things she’s been doing, and in the past I just would have cut off contact, but at this point in our lives, who am I to judge?  She’s got to learn from her own mistakes and eventually she will.  It may take a lot longer than it would for me, but she will learn.

And in writing this I have discovered that I never really felt like I ever fit in with any group per se during school, or after really.  I just sort of drifted from person to person and felt lost and unwanted most of the time.  I always felt like the new kid, even after I had lived in Oshkosh for 5 years.  Oshkosh is a really backward thinking town and I don’t think my family ever fit in there and sometimes I wonder why my parents still live there now (other than the fact that my mother has an awesome job).  That place always made me feel like there was something wrong with me and I am so immensely happy I moved away from there and that I have this great life in Madison with great people that I love to hang out with.  And a boy who is my best friend and understands me so deeply and even wants to be around me when I’m acting all emotional and irrational and who won’t validate my shitty behavior but who will just listen.

Thanks to my Secret Pal!  Check it, yesterday I got this spread:

It includes:

• The Lavish Lace book I had on my Amazon wish list.  The book has such gorgeous patterns that I can't wait to try out!
• A needle case - perfect for my double pointed needles that have just been floating around my knitting bag.
• A felted bag in shades of green - my favorite color.
• Green chai tea - mmmmm chai.
• Ghiradelli dark choclate squares which put me in heaven.
• Some other chocolate bon bon type things that I have yet to taste but look delicious.
• 3 chocolate peanut butter dream cups, one of which my boyfriend and I already ate.
• A little Christmas box with a yarn cutter pendant (which I've been meaning to get forever!), and a cat magnet, cat stickers and a little cat notepad.

I love all of it!  Thanks Secret Pal - you were a great spoiler!!!

Alright - yes I haven't updated since November.  No, I have not died.  I'm just a bad blogger and have been swamped with school (who knew learning about divorce could consume so much of ones time?) and other miscellaneous things that seem to eat up all my time.

So what interesting and fun things have I been doing since I last updated?  Well, let’s see.  I did manage to get to the Orpheum to see Atmosphere, and my boyfriend who totally doesn’t know he’s my boyfriend Slug.  The boy jokes that when we go see Atmosphere he has to wipe the drool from my mouth.  Man, that Slug can say everything I want to say AND with a tight beat behind it:

I’m a chapter in your text book
Read my like a checkbook
Mistook love at first sight for a sex look
Enough of the blind mans bluff
I want the good stuff
Trying to hook up a full belly and a foot rub
The modern mans hustle, I dig it, I shovel
Feed me your troubles then need me to cuddle
Bundle up in my mitten and coat
As cold as it gets I’ll keep your winter afloat
So let the snow fall (its coming down)
She doesn’t want to understand why I still come around
She looks at the mirror she don’t see what I see
She holds no history of how precious she be
Lay your head on my chest, speak of the stress
I hate to see you upset, it cramps the position
And if you didn’t know you better listen

My friend J, who is into all things underground hip hop and has been forever, told me that on the drive home he cried because it was so amazing.  I thought that was kind of funny – I mean here’s this guy who is 22 years old with a daughter and seeing Atmosphere reduced him to tears.  But I understand.  Loving a band for SO LONG and then being able to finally go see them is really a pretty intense experience.

So, Atmosphere was fun and then I thought I would have a nice Thanksgiving while in Oshkosh, it kind of took a turn for the worse when I extended our visit by a night.  So these are the things I learned while in Oshkosh:

+ seeing friends you haven’t seen in at least 6 months is super fun
+ especially when you have a few drinks and start talking dirty
- the sinking, creepy feeling I get in the pit of my stomach whenever I go back there
+ the Water City Grill still has the best $8 steak night EVER
+ and the best cream of tomato soup on the planet – SERIOUSLY
+ seeing my parents and my brother who I don’t talk to enough
- seeing that nothing ever changes there and that alcohol still plays way too much into what goes on in that city
- small time drama on a big time scale
- being reduced to having the same feelings I had that made me leave that town in the first place
+ I have the best boyfriend in the world

Basically, what really upset me the most was that my friend asked to me to stay an extra night then proceeded to be too busy at the bar to talk to me and I was sick of sitting in the smoke watching all these drunk people play out their petty little soap operas.  It was my third night of drinking in a row and it was 1 or 1:30 and I just wanted to go back and chill out at my friend’s house and have a few PBRs.  She, however had other plans, did not bother to ask what everyone else wanted to do and then became VERY passive aggressive about it later on.  Which just pissed me off because you’re 24 and the whole world no longer revolves around you - GET OVER YOURSELF!

So the whole experience may have left me a sobbing mess during the car ride back to Madison and I think the boy thought there was something seriously wrong with me.  I think for me it’s just learning to let go of Oshkosh and what I expect of it.  I don’t go out drinking every night and close the bars anymore.  I don’t get wasted and flirt with guys in front of my boyfriend and then have a blow out fight with him on a weekly basis.  I don’t like to spend my time in smoke filled bars where I can barely breathe and start getting a sinus headache within 10 minutes of entering the place.  I’m not against drinking per se, but it’s different when you go out and have 3 or 4 drinks and then call it a night.  As opposed to drinking yourself into a blackout so you can kill whatever pain is hurting you at the moment - pain that would probably go away if you just stopped drinking because alcohol is a depressant and makes you do stupid shit.  Somehow that news hasn’t made its way to Oshkosh yet.

As for my knitting and crocheting projects:  I managed to finish the star shaped baby blanket that I made for my soon to be second cousin.  I however am an idiot because I forgot to snap a freaking picture of it.  It turned out pretty well, although it took me a lot longer than I initially thought it would.  I did not finish the baby sweater in time but she’s not due until the end of January so I’ve got some time over Christmas and New Year’s to get that finished.  I did get a new peacoat as an early Christmas present from my parents and so I just started the Wavy scarf in red wool to match a little flower pin I made for the coat.  Hopefully that should be done soon.  And, yay for me, I finally made it to Stitch n Bitch which was way fun and I will definitely be going back!